Network Operations Centre
Problem Notification
While you were out...
1. Your machine has:
Run out of disk space
Mailed faults
Panicked
Emitted offensive beeps
Suffered a hardware failiure
Been cannibalised for parts
Recently been seen on fire
No lights on
Been bridged
Disappeared from the known network
Had Win
(lose)
dows 95 / NT installed
2. Action taken:
None (see section 3)
Power cycled
Power cycled (twice)
Disconnection
Rebooted
fscked
Relocated/lost
Caffeine
Routing
Additional points of failure implemented
3. Reason for inaction:
Machine location unknown
Machine not at listed location
Machine too scary
Quake addiction
Unspecified company political reasons
Failure occurred between 6am and 8am
4. Current state of machine:
Bridged
Worse
Much worse
Couldn't get much worse anyway
5. Current state of mind:
Suicidal
Toasted
Solution
Please note your final solution and permanent resolutions below.
1. Solution:
Coloured lighting
Public apology
Additional power switch status modification
Bridging
Reinstall
2. Permanent resolution:
Continued apologies
Status changed to unsupported service
Netapp
Scalable solution to be implemented over the next
years
None (see section 3)
3. Excuse for lack of solution:
Internal communication problems
Someone else's problem
The problem only affects Amsterdam
I worked last month
I'm working next month
Friday
Wish you hell,
bob
Help Desk Operator.
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